February 27, 2012: Day one of attempted purging
1:17 PM – This is day one and the purging has begun, and as anticipated it is difficult. Been feeling really strong urges to do exactly what I am purging myself from, which was anticipated as I knew there would be those parts of myself who want only to continue the old paradigm; and in this case ‘continuing the old paradigm’ means indulging in exactly what I wish to get away from.
The human mind and emotions are staggering when it comes to habits or addictive types of behavior. I have not been at this long and already I’ve felt and thought of a slew of rationalizations and attempted decisions which are not in alignment with what I am trying to do, and if not for the support of Brandy as well as so many sending me their Lighted energies, I may have buckled under the pressure already.
I have things that I set up for myself to do whilst involved in this purging, and much of it is centered around reading material and learning more about the higher realms from such material, as well as meditation and a general going within to find ‘highs’ and higher dimensional stimulations that are so much greater and more fulfilling than any of my current habits are able to grace me with.
I was to start this day with a morning meditation, which turned instead into me getting on the computer which I must watch doing in itself, because the energies coming from the computer can be and are just as dense as the low frequencies coming through the television, though I do recognize that for the most part the computer is necessary in my daily Life; when it comes to updating my site or chatting on the forum of wonderful, supporting friends whose community I have the supreme pleasure of being a part of.
As of right now, I can go without cannabis and television. I had to eat foods that were a bit heavier today because we didn’t have much else, but besides the accompanying heavy feelings gained after ingesting such densities, the effects have not been too overwhelming and have not made me want to indulge in other addictions that I am attempting to purge myself from. I do wish I could have started this Day One of purging better. I wish I could have been able to go without eating any types of heavy foods, as I know that the energies behind such foods can lay the foundation for a lower dimensional experience, but I am happy to be able to eat at all. There are plenty of people who do not have the ‘privilege’ to do so though obviously, everyone should be able to.
Will share further updates at a later time.
Update – February 27, 2011 (Day One) 4:00 PM:
The usual culprits of frustration, depression and anger have tried their very hardest through events manifested today since my last update, to get me to break this purging and watch tv or do any of the other things I have been attempting to cut myself off cold turkey from. There have also been many 3D related events for the better that have manifested today, but that themselves caused a small bit of frustration and angst. As of yet, I have not completely broken the purging though I am drinking a non-caffeinated soda at the moment. As for later on tonight, I cannot be so sure.
If I were to break the purging tonight and indulge in that which I am trying to get away from, it will by no means thwart or stop this effort of mine. Even if I ‘fail’ today (which even if I do, I do not consider it a failure nor does Brandy, as I have learned so very much today and gone very far in this effort) I will continue at this effort tomorrow, and even if I ‘fail’ a million times I will still keep at it, as this is an effort on my part that is not going away, regardless of whether or not I am able to achieve such Masterful discipline on this day. One thing I have certainly learned today is how hard this whole thing really is. But it will be worth it. Oh, it will be worth it.
Final update of Day One, 12:09 AM:
This day was very different and interesting, and today has served to teach me much about myself, about the defensive behavior patterns that are rooted deeper than I expected. It seems I have a bit more uprooting to do energetically when it comes to such patterns, and this is something I am to continue working on in the days ahead. The wonderful thing about today is that even when times seemed to get rough and I was being tested as I knew I would be, the underlying need not to indulge in that which has been familiar has been made extremely apparent.
I can feel the higher realms which lay beyond the indulgence in lower dimensional bindings, and the abundance of higher dimensional energy that seems to be available at this time is getting easier and easier to access, and especially since making this commitment I have felt the energetic assistance of many of my and our guides in the higher realms.
I can feel that this is a Divinely sanctioned mission I am now undertaking, and one that will serve to unlock my Higher Self and bring my true, undistorted self through to this reality and world in much more established ways than this current method and these current densities I am Living and perceiving through; they were left over from the walk-in and aligned with lessons in past Lives that were energetically washed away through the Law of Grace, but they were lessons that I wished to perfect in this incarnation.
While today did not align completely with my expectations, in many ways it was much better as I have learned so very much about myself and I feel I am gaining increasing access to the higher realms in ways I have never dreamed of, just by finding it within myself to cleanse the densities I have been feeding. This effort is still very young, and yet I can feel that the outcome has already been decided, as I am feeling increasingly the parts of myself that Created this Life-template and decided in advance the main events and decisions on my part to manifest, and this purging and cleansing is certainly a part of such decreed Life events.
I will share further updates tomorrow. Thank you all for your supportive energies, comments and emails. I can really feel a flow of pure Love coming through me and flowing around me when thinking of all that this wonderful Life is to bring all of us as we shed these densities once and for all, and your supportive energies and words have certainly been feeding this cycle of pure flowing Love. We are all performing such work, on purer planes of existence established both without and within ourselves. For quickest access, I would suggest searching within to find such realms, as they are here.